Friday, August 30, 2013

Party Pooper

So SAD. Doc, John, Jonathan, Johnny Boy, WHY WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY? I took the gag out and the best you can give me is a couple SUICIDE attempts? COME ON MAN. You disappoint Me. I HATE BEING FUCKING DISAPPOINTED. Maybe I should eat a few fingers. Maybe a hand. Teach you to waste an opportunity from me. AND YOU DISAPPOINTED OUR AUDIENCE. Look at them all. They are so sad they could not read your pathetic cries for help. And. Seriously man, we BOTH know you want help. There is still hope. You can still escape from all this. Right? RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

Ah... My Friends. It has only been a couple days, but it has felt like an ETERNITY away from you all. HOW IS EVERYONE? Still serving as an Agent of Chaos Kelly? Still DELICIOUS Sanna? Still being useless Phil? How about you Gabriella, or whatever name the voices in your head gave you this week. Hehehehe. Spyre? Doing Manly things? Great. Keep it up. Jack. Go fuck yourself. Professor Med? You still doing suicidally stupid things? KONAA, BUDDY I MISS YOU, WE NEVER TALK ANYMORE. Keep being utterly worthless at your job. "Azrael" Go fuck yourself. "TILDE" I have a VERY strong idea about who you are. HA. Just WAIT until I track down your little BITCH Kid friend, I am going to make her SUFFER for what... Hehehehehe. Well. We musn't spoil things for the few uninformed people left. Good news though. You are low on my list of priorities. Tick Tock though. My mind is like a HURRICANE with all sorts of ideas and priorities flying around. Never know what ends up on top.... Hunger might tip the scales though, so... Keep that in mind.

I am ecstatic people. Things are Great. Getting a bit hungrier than normal more often now... But the food has been great. Learning how to cook more, in my free time. I am not normally one for alcohol, but I heard about this delightful recipe for "Offal Ale." Something about the recipe spoke to me. Probably the part that involves organs. Mmmmm. Going to make sure my organ stock is fairly fresh, so... SHOPPING TRIP IN THE NEAR FUTURE. Volunteers?

But I'll bet everyone here is wondering WHY I am really so happy. Well, my friends, we Finally Did it. This blog has a fully functional Perception Filter. The Redlit Network can't see SHIT. In fact, if they try, what they will see instead are these posts. Great aren't they? I love it. Cynthia was such a Good Kid, really fun. And that second post? That is REDLIGHT begging Miss Annie to keep big bad Morningstar away. Granted... He wasn't in his right mind when he said that. But it changes nothing.

Ah... But this should give us a degree of safety. Now the next step is to figure out how to be less... Reactionary. More proactive. Because we currently can't find The Legion of Doom when they decide to manifest. It's only AFTER the fact. And I HATE SITTING HERE WITH MY THUMB UP MY ASS. Really sucks.

Things might go FASTER if he some of the other Cults would PITCH IN every once in a while. Oathbreakers aren't playing ball, the Dolls are only giving vocal support, Maenads are too disorganized on their own, Timberwolves are too busy holding on to PETTY GRUDGES, Nests don't seem to give a flying fuck. Which, come to think of it, is the only fuck they can possibly give. The Camper, Hushed Monks and Crimson Knights are completely out of the question, especially due to the latter two being part of the problem. I seriously thought I was fucking DONE with politics once I became a Vessel. I JUST WANT TO EAT THEM AND BE DONE WITH IT.

You know I have recently acquired an appreciation for human lungs. Really. Something about their texture is completely sublime. What makes me appreciate them more is the rarity of fairly clean lungs. Cigarettes fucking ruin them. It's terrible and disgusting. I could always go for the lungs of children but... They are a bit small, you know? It is Fresh, Clean, fully developed lungs that are worth cooking.

Hmmm. Teenager lungs might not be bad either. Light weight snack. Hey Sanna, do you smoke? Oh. Incidentally. Any liver disorders that you know of? God I love liver. 

Monday, August 26, 2013

I am So Sorry

That last post was SO utterly unprofessional of me. Please, gentle readers, accept my sincerest apologies.

That said. WE DIDNT FUCKING FIND A GODDAMN TRACE OF HIM. I had Two Clunkers, Three Brothers, A Nameless, 5 of those Black Eyed Brats, Uriel, A Scribe and briefly, Jack-Ass of All. And we searched for ANY trace of HIM. Absolutely nothing. THAT IS WORSE THAN FINDING SOMETHING. Because if it was an imitation or impersonator.... SOMETHING would have been left behind. But the real deal? Redlight, The Devil Himself.... Finding Nothing is almost proof it was him.

Goddamn Amber Eyes and that FUCKING GRIN of his, EAR TO GODDAMN EAR... It had to be him. But this is impossible. He is TRAPPED in the Grove. He can't get out by just POOFING IN. That is why he tried coming in through a Goddamn PIMPLE.

Let me clarify something. I CAN Kill Redlight. But only under specific circumstances like when he tried coming through as a Pimple. When he is in a half state of Azoth, I can overpower him and consume EVERYTHING. Mind, Body and Soul. But in the physical world? He might as well be a clown with me as a Balloon Animal. Hell. For him it might be EASIER to kill me than the AVERAGE FUCKING PERSON.

So. Here is what I am going to do. I am going to chill. I am going to be cool. And I am going away for a little while. Just... Under the Radar. But I know, Beloved Readers, I can hear your cries and wailing... "No Morningstar, don't leave us. You are the light of our lives, the highlight of our days." Well, Fair Readers, Fear not. I am leaving a GOOD friend of mine in charge of the blog. PROXY BOB. And the best part? He is going to be ungagged. See. Proxy Bob is a Hallowed. Nobody at home in there. Knock on the head and it is empty... But for Proxy Bob, we left the door open. We can... Turn on his mind again for a little while a day. So I am going to let Doctor Marsh do a little posting. I am sure he misses it, and the best part is, if he tries to leave the room during his Free Moments, his mind will RESET and Proxy Bob will take back over.

I want Echo to tell you ALL about the things we have made him do. HEY. Everyone here know Echo? No? Well I will explain him a bit. Doctor Jonathan Marsh was a family doctor. Young, Single, I guess not unattractive. Bright I think, but in WAY over his head in these matters. Not a Scientist, despite his best efforts. His family is also an interesting topic, especially his Uncle. More on him later. Echo became a runner very late last year, and started a blog early this year. He is a very important individual to us, blame his Uncle. He is also CRITICAL for Redlight's Master Plan, as we know it. I tried to make it look like he had DIED, but it looks like The Legion of Doom never really believed that. So I put less effort into maintaining the charade. Anyway, Echo, despite his best efforts, was not a killer. Oh I think he killed a COUPLE people, and he tried killing ME. But he never really could stomach it, despite trying. So naturally, I have been having him CUT A RED, BLOODY SWATH THROUGH RUNNERS all this time. I am sure it has changed him. Or maybe he is in denial, maybe he will try to justify it with "The Proxies mad me do it." Hehehehehe. Maybe so Echo, maybe so... But Jonathan. My friend. Those hands are STAINED with blood. You have taken MANY lives. Doesn't matter who was running the show. You did it.

So. I bid you all adieu. I will be around a little bit. Comments. Maybe Co-Starring in my own blog for a bit. But I really don't need The Red Team to find out my exact movements for a little while.

Toodles everyone. See you soon.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

RED ALERT

MARCUS I know you are FUCKING watching this blog, so get your VIRTUAL ASS over here and tell me what the fuck I am looking at.

Red Hoodie. Tall Guy. AMBER FUCKING EYES and STARING UP AT MY WINDOW. AM I HALLUCINATING HERE? HE CAN'T BE OUT. HE FUCKING CAN'T BE, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. He is supposed to be trapped in the Grove...

SEND ME FUCKING HELP. SEND ANYONE AND EVERYONE, GODDAMMIT. FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. If he GOT OUT, I AM USELESS. I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A THIN MEMBRANE AROUND A MASS OF TAR TO HIM.

SEND SAMAEL. SEND URIEL. RAMAEL, TAHARIEL... ANY OF THEM. FUCK, GET HEYLEL. IT LIKES TO HELP PEOPLE, SO MAKE IT HELP ME! HE CAN FUCKING KILL ME PERMANENTLY!!!!! HELP GODDAMMIT!!!!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Castle Crashed

Alright. Let me get the obligatory Recap out of the way. I entered the Crumbling Castle through Enoch's Path, which may actually be the only way a Non-Oathbreaker or Non-Runner can get in. It was... An unpleasant place. Imagine for a moment, individuals kept alive through the worst fevers and flesh destroying bacteria. The first thing I saw in the entry hall was a big banquet table, with about 13 people sitting. Their skin was so diseased and their bodies so wrecked, all the could do was breathe. Their eyes didn't function, their flesh was like a sticky jelly, but not so sticky that it didn't come off easy. The Bones looked liquid. I only know this, because I found it absolutely hilarious. It looked like skeletons walking around in big costumes of skin. It was the highlight of my visit.

The big staircase leads up or down, and my money was on down. It smelled of... Heat and blood and things I couldn't place. Dark and poorly lit. But I don't want to dwell on it. Came downstairs and started hunting around for the Syringes when I ran into an Oathbreaker. Or rather, an EX-Oathbreaker who is also a GODDAMN CRAFTER. So, being utterly useless against that, she decided to introduce herself as The Black Queen. I won't even dignify her with our banter. So, since I was essentially a big pile of play dough to her, she had me help look for the damned Syringes. 2 Days of searching LATER, we finally FOUND THEM... Alongside some potential test subjects... Saw someone I knew there. Guess fucking who, Banks. I blame you for this too, albeit not as much as Redlight. My... Friend's condition was bad. Very bad. We just... Don't catch breaks, do we? Look at what we are in Life. FUCKING LOOK AT ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE HERE UNTIL THE STARS GO OUT. Again, and AGAIN. But the alternative is SO MUCH WORSE. I've seen it firsthand now.

... Of course, well... I wouldn't have gotten out of there if it was not for my friend. I guess... The Black Queen has "Redlit" written all over her, and that connection must have... I dunno. Triggered something. There was barely any mind left in there, and I doubt my friend recognized Me. But Redlight... That is something my friend would NEVER forget, no matter the damage done mentally.

Look. Bottom Line. I got out, I have the Syringes, Black Queen MAY be neutralized. Plague Doctor didn't like The Queen trying to fight off It's favorite labrat... And I am STILL sick from that. I didn't even know I COULD get sick, let alone Feverish and vomiting. What the fuck is my nose even stopped up with? Azoth? My nose is MADE of Azoth, this makes no sense and it SUCKS... Heh....

You know... I kind of hoped the afterlife would be a happy place for all of us. But in the end, there is no escape. One of them or Another will always claim us in the end... And no matter where we end up, Castle, Shore, Swamp, Path, City, or Tower... It is just a different slice of Hell.

You are never making me go back there again. You will need to HALLOW ME if you want me to EVER set foot back there again.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Finally out of the Castle. Mission Accomplished. Fucking Plague Doctor... Fucking Oathbreakers. Goddammit all... I will talk about it in detail some other fucking time.

I have the Syringes and one member of The Legion of Doom may, or may not be neutralized. Probably not. The Black Queen. I can confirm she is Ex-Oathbreaker and a complete bitch.

Redlight. Spencer. If you are reading this... If it is the last thing I do, I am going to kill you. Slowly. And as painfully as I can manage. YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL HIM I SAID THAT YOU BASTARDS, I KNOW SOME OF YOU READ THIS. TELL HIM I AM GOING TO RIP HIM APART, TELL HIM I AM GOING TO MAKE HIM SUFFER A HUNDRED TIMES THE AGONY THAT HE MADE... Hahaha. Well. Public Blog. Can't be airing personal grudges like that. They know who is in the Crumbling Castle... Shambling along... A dead Afflicted thanks to REDLIGHT'S manipulations and petty grudges.

Actually Redlight... You know what I think? You cheated. You were SCARED of our dear friend. You just weren't as good at manipulating people and things and GOD knows you are easy to manipulate. As all Mere Mortals are. You were much more threatening when you were going by the name Spencer. You at least had a backbone then, and you weren't blinded by an ego that your head can barely contain anymore... Hehehehe. And if I heard right, I don't think it CAN contain it anymore. You are less a God than I am. You are on the RUN from me, after all. You know what I can do to you once I find you... Once you start leaking into the minds of your puppets and I can extract you and finally give you what you deserve. Maybe... Maybe I will even put you back in the tree. I have the Syringes after all and they are just going to sit here collecting DUST. Your Other had such fun with them last time. I bet you remember don't you Spence. It's all leaking in now.

Soon Enough. Retribution is coming, and don't think that your little troupe of halfwit, insane Cult rejects is going to impede me in any way.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Cloak and Dagger

Bad news from the front. The Cloaked Creeps didn't have it. I checked EVERY nook and cranny. Every Viral Flavor you could ever think of... T, G, C, TG, TV, TB, Uroboros, Blacklight, KV, Rage, et cetera. But no Doomsday syringes. They were here though. And if they are not here, and nobody moved them... That leaves only one place. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Time to educate the ignorant on this. We all know The Path of Black Leaves. Usually appears as a monochrome road surrounded by trees covered in black leaves. Never anyone in sight, silent as the grave. Heheheh. No place like home. But it is merely ONE of many places like that. They don't exist as we know existence. I can't pull out a globe or some star charts and point at the Path. Same goes for all the others. They come in many shapes and sizes you know. An Ash filled wasteland of smoke and blood, chains and bones littering the ground. A beach of black sand flanked by murky, churning waters and impassible jagged cliffs, constantly bombarded by a fierce thunderstorm. A swamp filled with corpses drinking in the fluids within, but it is not water. An endless field of flowers, pretty to the eyes, but every other sense will be SCREAMING in fear, because they know what lurks behind that happy, smiling visage.

And On. And On. And On. Plenty of these places out there, each more horrible than the last. One of my least favorites is called The Crumbling Castle. For the more slow witted out there, Sanna, Female Seeker, Male Seeker, and V'ger, it is in fact a Castle that is crumbling. A large, LARGE castle. You hear stories about that place. The Path is a Path, it is meant to be traveled on and traveled through. It is a difficult road, but ultimately just a path. The Castle? It's a dungeon. A torture chamber. A giant incubator for every ailment mankind knows and doesn't know. I know of maybe... Three people who have made it through there alive.

Soon to be four if I get my way. Big IF. There is a short list of things out there that can kill me dead. The Plague Doctor is one of them. It looks like he might not be all on board with this whole "Avert the Apocalypse" thing I have going. Who knows why. But this means I need to Sam Fisher my way in to THE CRUMBLING CASTLE and get those damn Syringes. I could not be any less excited for this, and you can bet The Legion of Doom is sending their own person in. Ugh.

So. While I consult the Archive on this stuff... What is everyone up to? Having Good Days? See any good movies? Play any Good Games? Any Plague Doctor sightings? Because I would love for him to be OCCUPIED right now. That would be nice.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sleep

MAN oh Man. I think I slept for almost an entire DAY. You know have NO idea how refreshed I feel right now. Granted, I am not sure WHY I went to sleep, because...Well. I haven't slept in Months, really. But still. I REALLY forgot how good sleep felt. Like falling asleep on a fluffy cloud. I wonder if I dreamed anything? Can something like me dream? I Guess so considering ARKADY STILL HASN'T GIVEN ME MY MUCH DESERVED, MUCH AGREED UPON BICYCLE! Seriously. Fuck that Guy. Getting my hopes up like that. What an asshole.

In other news, my wounds are COMPLETELY healed. Not even a scar. Good. Very Good. Don't need to get called Emo by people due to my Semi-Self Inflicted Sword wounds. Hehehehe. As I recall, he got off worse though. So I call this a win.

You know what I haven't eaten in a while? Eggs. I LOVE Eggs. Scrambled Eggs especially. Just like Mother used to make and dump in the trash for me to go after. Once I learned they tasted better warm, they quickly became one of my favorite foods. I like it with cheese though. And Bacon. I want Bacon. Mmmmm. The World's most perfect food.

BUT RIGHT, BUSINESS AND DUTY CALLS AND SHIT. Woke up and checked my Phone. Saw a friggen a Virtual face staring at me. I proceeded to toss the phone at the wall, while I realized I really shouldn't be freaked out over this. It was just MARCUS. He seemed kind of pissed that I threw him at a wall. Understandable I guess. I don't like being thrown at walls either. Then again, I don't have a skull. Neither does MARCUS. I decided to test how much a skull could take once. I had this Baby with me. Mommy and Daddy died after we herded them to Father. But the Baby remained. So I decided... Lets see how much this thing's skull can take. So I went to Wal-Mart and got this wiffle bat. Then I began BEATING THE SHIT out of the thing's head with the wiffle bat. In my previous life, I was a fairly strong guy, so the bat broke the Baby's head wide open pretty quickly. Took about.... Six Minutes.

But yeah. We have a... Lead of sorts on the Doomsday Syringes. GUESS WHO? The Cloaked Clowns, The Beaked Freaks, Men and Women who the likes of Dr. Mindbender and Dr. Drakken shake their heads at sadly.... The OATHBREAKERS. We really hate these guys. Now I want you to imagine CHAOS. Disorder. Now imagine it being INCREDIBLY BORING. That is what the Oathbreakers serve. Their Plague Doctor. More or less the inferior, predictable, highly chaotic counterpart to Father dearest. The Plague Doctor is as aggressive as Father is passive. It kills you quickly as Father draws it out longer and longer. The Plague Doctor attacks your body, as Father attacks your mind. So naturally, Proxies and Oathbreakers don't get along.

Don't get me wrong. When the going gets tough, we CAN coexist. A team of Proxies and Oathbreakers working closely together might suffer from... Disappearances from the Oathbreaker side, and the Proxies probably start ending up with mysterious cut wounds that manifested in the middle of the night.

Did I mention these guys weaponize disease? Because they do. The worst ones tend to have these walking incubators running around their pits. The Afflicted. Just being breathed on by these things will give you half the known diseases of Africa. Including ones not known.

Now. There are two scenarios that can play out here. One. We kick down the Oathbreakers doors, kill them all, dance merrily in their entrails, and grab the syringes. OR. They moved syringes and we will have to go somewhere VERY unpleasant.

Actually. Speaking of "We", it is actually "I" right now. Proxy Bob got called away for some reason. I smell shenanigans and horrible scheming. My favorite kind, actually.

So. I have to ask. How IS everybody this fine day? Anybody die over night? That would be funny. Kelly! Any Good Kills lately? Sanna! Have you killed enough people to qualify as a Mass Murderer yet? PHILLY BOY! Still being so unenthusiastic about your job? JACK! Still crying over Carter's grave? Oh MAN I was laughing so hard at that. SEEKER PEOPLE! If you are seekers, what are you seeking? LORD GUARDIAN CUDDLES! Want a yarn ball? "Azrael"! Rape anyone I know lately? Anonymous Commenter who signs off with "~"! Who the fuck are you again? MISS ANNIE! You probably aren't reading this, you Proxy-racist BITCH, I'll be back to finish our dance sometime later, I PROMISE you. HAHAHAHA. JP/V'GER! Can't wait til The Enterprise's Crew takes you down, until then do continue to fail miserably at keeping Meddy alive. It's going to be HILARIOUS to see our Generation's Sage DIE to early. Hehehehehe. What a pathetic excuse for a Sage you are Meddy.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Reformatting

Proxy Bob Posting. Attendant Samael has come to reformat Morningstar. They are. Displeased. Initial assumption that. Morningstar's hunger would become asset. Incorrect. Flaw. Went on small rampage. Consumed thirteen people before subdued by Attendant Samael. Violent instability proving difficult to deal with. May need to reset every so often. Natural fluidity of Azoth not complimenting tendency for simplicity in regards to human personality. Reset was inevitable. Need more tactics than devour anything in sight. Predictable and the counter-produtive to why Morningstar was chosen.

Human minds. Electricity and chemicals. Easily altered. Morningstar must be perfect agent for given task. Fearsome reputation is an asset. Driving Europe Division Agents into hiding is not. Purification not due for at least a decade. Will be ensuring that Morningstar stays out of affairs that no longer concern him. No Sanna. No Banks. No Annalee. No recreational killing. Applying perception filter on this post. Will not allow Morningstar to detect it. Responds negatively to personality adjustments. Comments referring to Personality readjustment will also be Filtered.

Enemy Agent Iblis incapacitated for sometime. Good. Tree Extract will be located and reacquired, or destroyed. Winter Solstice approaches. Need to be ready.

Fettered Blade

I have developed some major self loathing issues because of today. Such a shame. All those years of Therapy down the drain.

MARCUS found Iblis. Wasn't terribly difficult. He doesn't look like me, but he ACTS just like me. Well. Kind of. Based on the footage, I think he is a bit less... Controlled. Massacred an entire bus full of people with a Butterfly knife. MY Butterfly knife. My Original Knife. It doesn't belong in the hands of Little Red Bus-Crashing Hood. It is Mine.

So I tracked him down to a Cafe. Immediately something about this seemed off. People were coming and going without a care in the world. Not really even reacting to the masked, red cloaked man with a long sword on his hip. So I asked "Self. What am I doing holed up in a Cafe. With norms running in and out?" so my Self answered. "Self. How do we know they are norms?" This was a good point. So I did a little snooping. Seems Red is rather fashionable among the patrons. Trap. Trap. Trap.

So I sat myself down and... Decided to think up a plan. Relax. Barbecue up that infant I took from the hospital the other day... Could have used better sauce. Something a little less sweet. Infant flesh is already the angel food cake of human meat. Started to read up on the blog activities. Saw this little Gem. Nice to see the EuroProxies showing some spine in the face of a little friendly teasing. Makes me wonder how you actually managed to kill any of the runners who threaten you daily. Or is that not done across the pond? Oh Well. Got a good chuckle out of me. Honestly buddy, you need to get a sense of humor. Your panicked, knee jerk reaction was hilarious to be sure. Not exactly the smartest move though, all things considered. I mean. I am WAY too busy for a European Tour Vacation and as for Kelly... Well... I think he might have problems of his own on the way.

Side Note. Think I found Lily's Daughter. Heheheheheh.

I also saw that my last Dance Partner, Miss Annie, was up and at it again. She is probably eating through a straw right now though. Certainly not ready for an encore. I AM somewhat curious what they are doing with my leftovers. That one guy who was tied to a Pipe in their shack. I hope they keep him around. Next time I decide to drop by, I would appreciate a familiar meal. They are rather rare nowadays you know.

Ah... But now we get to the part of my day that was not so fun. Our assault on that Cafe. I wanted to hold the Pale Men back, to not spook Iblis too much. Let him think it was a one on one thing. Unfortunately... I may have underestimated my own swordsmanship, especially if that was what he was focusing on for the past year and a half. Redlight just HAD to pick the ONE place where they could forge the damn things to be his central nexus. The Good news is that they don't work on anything bigger than me. The bad news is, they HURT LIKE A BITCH.

Of course. It takes more than a little physical trauma to put me down. Some advice to myself.... Don't rely on your knowledge of human physiology to tell you where to stab. I only have a heart when I want to have a heart beat. The rest of the time it is all Liquid Goodness. Starving liquid Goodness. How's the hand by the way Iblis? Bet you didn't think I could do that. Hell. Even I didn't think I could do that. But what have we learned today? Say it with me now. "Do Not attempt to Punch the walking puddle man." Is that shark comparison making more sense? I would hope so.

You see, ladies and gentlemen. I entered the cafe late at Night. I... Was perhaps a TINY bit overconfident. Got a sword shoved through where my heart would be. The Legion of Doom has a weapon. These swords. Probably need to find out if they forged them or found them, because both are possible... The wound is still there. A Freaking hole in my chest that WON'T GO AWAY. Unfortunately for Chuckles over there, his next move was to try punching me in the face. So I took off his arm. But even THAT didn't heal the DAMNED HOLE. Good news is. Iblis is only human. I ate my own arm the other day, on a whim. I eat his arm, he goes into shock. That didn't make him happy. All that screaming. So it was my turn to punch him in the fact. Shatter that pretty little mask into pieces. Behind it was a face, clearly not mine. Bleached blonde hair, green eyes.

Once again. Overconfident. Got my head taken off by something behind me and I blacked out. Until, you know. About an hour ago. The Azoth turned on the autopilot and reattached everything. Based on the Other large holes in me, and some scratches that keep oozing Azoth... It also drove off whatever decapitated me. Didn't see Iblis's corpse anywhere, so I assume he escaped. Heheheheh. Just means I will eat him later.

No sign of the Doomsday Syringes in that cafe though. I assume Iblis and company were looking for it just like we are. With possibly less luck. Good. Redlight might be able to replicate the contents of the syringe if he gets them. You all know how he is about taking the world down with him. HeheheheHAHAHA. Going to take a walk. See if a little exercise can't fix these wounds. Maybe grab a bite while I am out too. We'll see.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Among Cattle

It occurs to me that I am no longer... What you could call human. The Attendant, Samael... The Yellow Eyed Angel told me that this human form... The Azoth mimicking my bones and organs, is only to ease my brain pattern into the new and improved form. In that sense, I am not working at full capacity. According to Samael, it will take more time... But I should gradually begin to make the most of my new found existence. Hehehehe... I remind myself of the T-1000 from Terminator 2. Bullets can't stop me. The ones that don't just pass right through me are consumed by the Azoth. Knives can cut me, but what flows out IS me. Living, Me. Explosions. Being Flattened... Those seem to be the only real conventional ways to SLOW ME DOWN. I reform over time. Any fragments that cannot meet with the whole are... Unconsciously deactivated and die.

I get so hungry because of that. Because I am not whole. So I eat and I eat. Theoretically anything with an amount of energy in it would work. As I am not a machine I cannot, say, eat a power line and gain that energy. But I can get it from meat and bone and blood. The smallest rat could revive me from a state of near death. Even less, a wayward fly landing on a puddle of Me. I am not Human any longer.

I considered this fact today, as I was looking around. No sign of Iblis or anyone else here yet. I hope to keep it that way. I suspect the syringes filled with that WONDERFUL Apocalypse Juice might be somewhere here. No luck so far, but then... I expected as much. Honestly, I am on standby for a call from MARCUS. He will have an easier time locating anything useful. I assume a different Thoughtborn will be sent on Media Duty. Heheheh. It's funny. I have never seen any Runner throw any theories about this out... They always just assume that we have people in the various Governments who can shut down any and all Media attempts to show off our activities. Consider. What is a Phone Call? An E-Mail? A News Broadcast? Now. Think of the nature of a Thoughtborn. Floating around out there with all the signals and waves. Minds connected to an intelligence so eldritch and beyond comprehension that it, in a way, elevates them above Normal Humanity. Thoughtborn can intercept E-Mails, Phone Calls, TV Broadcasts, Youtube Videos. They edit them, censor them and distort them in ways to undetectable and perfect, no one would notice a thing. They can do it in seconds. True. The Governments make it absurdly easy with their own little spy tools. But they can be censored too.

Aside from information gathering, Thoughtborn can remotely tap into security cameras, cell phone cameras... Any Camera really. So naturally, since the Newborn's children don't quite want to end the world just yet, we are getting OODLES of support from their weird ilk. Odds are you know... If you have a Cell Phone with a Camera, a Computer with a webcam or Microphone, and obviously if you are near any conventional security cameras... Right now, even as you read this, you are being watched. You are being studied and you are being analyzed. Given our current alliance... This means that, if they are feeling generous, I might get a phone call from a distorted voice telling me all about you. Where you are, what you are doing, what you are wearing, any weapons. Fun stuff. But I am busy. So busy. Just waiting for them to find TWO little Syringes in this big, wide world. A somewhat difficult task even for them.

So I was walking along, under their watchful eyes among the herds. Among the sheep. Do you know, I can your heartbeats now? It was so hard to... Tune out and turn off at first. Always there. Thump Thump, Thump, Thump. Endless thumping all around me. My mind would drift off into imagination. I would see myself RIPPING out that hateful drum and tearing into it. Feeding my hunger, as the pain washes away beneath a tide of red, wet blood. But these sheep... They had no idea who they walked with. What they walked with. Once I was a wolf walking among them but now... I am something more. Bigger and hungrier. Am I a Tiger, staring down these pitiful two-legged goats. No. So much hungrier. I am Colder than that. Maybe I am a Crocodile leering at a herd of dull witted Antelopes drinking at the watering hole. No... Bigger. Greater. Hungrier. So Hungry.

Then it came to me. Obvious in hindsight, what I am now. I am a Shark. A mighty killing machine, ever hungry, ever hunting for fresh meat. But... Unlike them I can walk upon dry land, I can feed on anything that lives and breathes and has a heart beating red blood through decaying veins. I keep moving and moving and hunting and feeding, ripping and tearing biting chunks of wet red flesh, snapping bones to drink the marrow from the crumbling bits, ripping open organ and chewing crunchy, chewy bits of ragged bloody skin...

Everything around me was food. The revelations hit me hard, but lifted such weight... I am the top of the food chain. I can pull the entire thing into my maw and chew it to pieces. Nothing living can stop me. Nothing living can KILL me. I am no longer of humanity. No longer bound by their flaws and their sins. Your flaws and your sins... You don't deserve to die for what you did. You don't deserve to die for what you did not do. No longer for my suffering, no longer for my hate. You deserve to die because you are Food.

You are Food and I am hungry.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

I am Very Clever

And it seems I didn't fall for my own ruse. Fucker. For those not paying attention, I appear to have encountered one of Redlight's MISTAKES. The successful Me that Redlight made a while back ran into him before, as did Good Old Screamer. Seems like he, and two other ABORTIONS, got stuck in Heel Face Turn mode. Like idiots.

Of course NOW, they are back to being Heels. I suspect it is due to Redlight's influence. He makes it seem like THEY think it is a Good idea for him to achieve Godhood. Weak Minded Idiots. What is worse is someone in the comments reminded him AND Me of a little something we lost track of. Death of the Universe in Liquid Form. Nasty stuff. Granted. Not enough of it left to do serious irreparable damage to the fabric of reality. Still. Not something you want floating around out there.

To the ever gullible and idiotic Sanna, I tell you this. It would take me at least TWO Days to find you and kill you. I don't HAVE two days. I have one. This should be OBVIOUS given the subject matter. I was merely hoping to send OTHER me on a LONG Plane Flight over to kill you while I go find The Doomsday Syringes.

Given that I believe you are still breathing, he didn't take the bait. Fucking wonderful.

To make matters worse, I have NO idea where the Syringes are. Sagey BLEW THEM UP or something, but he missed TWO. But we don't have two anymore. Must have gotten lost in the confusion of recent events. So. Finding them again, is going to be a Bitch. Fortunately, that is why I have Bitches. The MK I Pale Men are on the move in force. The Mask Brigade was too busy killing Runners to avert utter catastrophe. So I doubt we are getting any support from Author or Fracture's People.

So. My People, Proxy Bob, The Pale Men and little old me have to scour an entire country to find the damn things. You know, since the Attendants are too "important" for grunt work like this. I have a few hunches as to where they could be, but if I have these hunches, you can bet Other I does too. Since he knows that I know, it will be trap. Unless we get there first, in which case he knows it is a trap. Unless something spectacularly stupid happens. Expect the unexpected.

So. If anyone sees a pair of little syringes, filled with a white liquid that, if injected causes someone's body to be consumed by a Large Tree with Black Leaves. Do tell me. For your own Good. Because I do work for your own Good. Promise. I am here to help. Always. You can trust me. Honestly.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Damn It

HAHA. Outpredicted once again. Well. Maybe not, but Redlight sure couldn't stop what we KNEW was gonna happen. See. There is a reason I am being all public with my movements. Anyone Redlight has his tendrils in is hardwired to stay the fuck away from me. Hehehehe. So if they find out I am on my way to LA division HQ... Guess what happens. They get out.

Of course, since I made it fairly clear I am going to be KILLING a lot of Proxies there, I am sure one or two innocent Proxies ran off. Such a shame. Truly. HAHAHAHAHA. Good news is, I have a list of all the Proxies that ran off, and well... My Pale friends are stalking the city streets at night. I expect we'll have this problem contained within the week.

MEANWHILE, let me just take a moment to express my utter disappointment in you all. I am dropping hints LEFT AND RIGHT and not one of you has bothered to ask. I'm offended. I really am. I am sure he is too. Hehehe. Court isn't taking the bait just yet though. I wonder what the plan is... Oh well.

Been feeling kind of melancholy lately. I have no idea why. Just this icky, dark feeling inside. I tried to make myself feel better by torturing a highway patrol officer. Nothing terribly spectacular. Small pully system, lots of meat hooks on chains. Ripped him apart piece by piece. Normally it would be hilarious, but it was kind of... Boring. Dull. Dull, dull, dull. Probably because I have done it before once or twice. Really, if you've seen it once, you've seen it every time. Honestly? It is getting more fun to just straight up eat people. To my MIND that doesn't sound quite right. Which... Would imply something might be wrong with me, actually.

Huh. No matter.

Short post too... Might hold off on posting it until we get an update from The Pale Men.

---

FUCK FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK ASS FUCK

I AM PISSED. Morgan Sturn is running around LA. Normally this would not be an issue but he... He found a way to hurt me. NOW DON'T WORRY. I am currently fine. Rattled. But fine. Sir Rapesalot will need to do a LOT better than... What he did. Don't need YOU guys finding out what he did. Can't have this be common knowledge or risk it becoming common place. In fact. May need to pay dear old Dad a visit for a tune up.

Some Good news though. It doesn't work on the Pale Men yet. Thank Father. They had to bail me out, and Morgan and his three masked buddies ran like cowards. Red Hood Mask Guy was laughing like an idiot the entire time. I dub him Chuckles from now on and will CHISEL IT ON HIS GRAVE STONE.

So. Team. If anyone knows ANYTHING about Morgan's little accomplices. Tell me, ASAP. All I know is that one was wearing a Red Hooded Robe. With a White Mask. A bit... Over dramatic if you ask me, but DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE this guy. He kind of kicked my ass in a weird way... Really it was almost like he knew how I fight. Well. How I used to fight, and how I had to switch to fighting once I found out they can friggen hurt me. The Second was wearing Black Hooded Robes with a White Mask. Again. Don't underestimate. The Third guy didn't do any fighting. He just kind of watched. He had a grinning silver mask with, again, Robes. No Hood. Black Robes.

Of course. Given that LOADS of people involved in this mess LOVE Hoods and Masks... This isn't narrowing it down much. Still want to know who they were, because none of them looked like a "Fire Witch" to me, and she is the only member of The Court whose appearance I don't know.

... This is a terrible fucking day. You know that? So here is what I am going to do. I am going to sit here and lick my wounds. And sulk. And troll blogs. Because I am angry and I have NO ONE and NOTHING to take it out on right now. So please. Give me some trolling fodder.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Bored. So Frigging Bored. Seriously BORED.

Ah... Sorry for taking a day off from you lovely people. But I just had to have some... Me Time. Well. Me. Proxy Bob, and a Children's Hospital. That runner's kid was there so we decided to... Well... HAHAHA. Ah... Good Times. Proxy Bob is really growing up you know? He has become the Kato to my Green Hornet. Who would have thought it?

Anyway. On our way to LA. Have to travel slow... My... Pale, very creepy buddies aren't the fastest travelers. Not terribly chatty either. Well. With me. And Proxy Bob. But they seem to LOVE chattering amongst themselves. Sounds like a symphony of mandibles clicking together back there. Except they don't move their mouths or... Anything when making those noises. And why are they all BALD? I understand the identical, creepy, grandpa fedoras and grandma gowns and... The Albinism. But why Bald? Bald people are... Scary. I don't like them.

But yeah, on our way to purify LA. I got time to kill and mobile Wi-Fi. So. I decided to look around at what everyone is up to. You guys are boring. Also I keep seeing people throw around this word. "Seeker." I think Sanna threw the word at me in the comments a while back, as if I knew what the fuck a Seeker was. I know it was... A thing in The Dark is Rising Books. I think. It's been about 12 years since I read that book. But... I guess it is a Proxy thing? It seems to be talked about by mostly EuroProxies. I think. So... Wanna fill me in? ProxyCorp Euro doesn't really tell me stuff anymore. Since other me killed off some of their Highers. Hehehehe. HAHAHA. Go Me.

Also saw some stupidity about The Rake being dead. Ha. HAHAHAHAHA. Ha. Ha. No.

All my other favorites have been REAL quiet or real uneventful. Come on guys. It is a LONG drive and I am BORED. So BORED. Might have to get Driver Pale Man to start speeding so we can catch a highway patrol or two. Something to snack on for the ride. Also need to whip up some more alkahest. Proxy Bob is getting... Hehehehe. Alchemy is at the heart of all this, you know? Double, double, toil and trouble. HAHAHAHAHA. And you know what the best part is? Alkahest. I just slipped this little sentence in for the Legion of Doom's pleasure. Cause it's going to drive them NUTS figuring out if I am serious or not! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Come on guys. He is RIGHT HERE. Come and get him. Come on. Come on. COME ON.

And if they do come on? They won't find him, cause I am a BIG FAT LIAR. But I am also clever. Alkahest is hard to whip up, but SO WORTH IT to draw you fuckers out. So you guys come rushing me and I take at least one of you down with me and you guys leave with NOTHING. Hehehehe. This is how the game works friends. You guys HAD to know I was going to do this. So am I lying, or is this a trap? Hehehehehehe.

Also guys. COMMENT. Even you Morgan. I miss your rapier wit. How easily confused you are with big words and your FREQUENT grammar errors. Come on buddy! How about any of you other clowns? Piper dude? Old Man? Come on Old Man! YOU have to at least have SOMETHING to say. Queenie? Anyone? No? Fine. As long as it isn't Rhodes. He is a douche.

Friday, August 2, 2013

The Network

BAGGED MYSELF A BIG ONE TODAY! Noticed him acting all fidgety when I was around. Just a standard Masked Grunt at one of our California compounds. These Masked Freaks always act funny around me, but never quite so paranoid. That is when I noticed the bright red sweatband on his wrist. I love vanity. I LOVE IT. Redlight just can't help himself anymore.

Anyway, when he saw that I saw, he tried to make a run for it through the Path. BIG MISTAKE. I followed him in and redirected the stream into the middle of the street outside. Poor moron was knocked out for half an hour. I keep WARNING people about using the Path, but no one EVER seems to listen. Even the ones who know better.

Interrogation was a pretty easy affair. Not like these Redlit (Need a New Name for them. Red Hoods? No... They don't all wear Hoods... ) actually KNOW they are Redlit. All he knew was he had this sudden urge to get the hell away from me immediately. He stayed twitchy and uncomfortable through the entire session. But as expected, he had no idea anything was actually wrong with him. See, The Attendants are currently blocking Redlight from actually using his little meatsuits. But he is still connected. He can't see, hear or feel through them per se, but he can issue some basic commands through the collective. One of these commands is "Keep out of Morningstar's way" because... Well... This happens if they don't.

The guy's meat was a little tough and chewy. Had to tenderize him a bit. Sliced him up into fun sized pieces and stuck them on the grill. Went well with some generous amounts of barbecue sauce and some tater tots. Of course, that was all just for pleasure. His Brain was the business, so I made sure to keep the head intact. Went digging around and sure enough, clear signs of Redlight.

For you Sciency types out there, good old Dr. Morningstar shall now explain to you what I mean by "Clear Signs." As Azoth is all the rage these days, it should come as no surprise that it is once again at the heart of this little lesson. All of us wonderful Proxies have SOME Azoth in us. Usually trace amounts, except when found in the stomach. The Brain is the key here, however. No Proxies will ever have more than a few stains of the stuff in their Brains. Well. None except little old me and maybe one or two others. Special Cases. Redlit Proxies are another story. There should be a pretty big and active amount of Azoth crawling around in there. Most tellingly however, it will not be bonded to the flesh and blood of the Redlit Proxy. It will be foreign, but overpowering the bodies immune system.

So I did what I always do. I ate the Redlight Azoth. And it did what it always does. Redlight immediately killed the connection as soon as he felt me crawling around in there. Bet it feels like a bunch of snakes slithering around in his brain. If any of you morons (You know who you are) are watching, ask him if that statement sounds familiar at all and tell him Daddy's coming to give him the spanking of his life. Hope I get to be there to watch.

Despite the Azoth being dead, a corpse can still tell me SO many things. This little Redlit was on standby mode. No ACTIVE commands, which makes him nothing more than a sleeper. BUT, he had a tiny, little command buried deep down. Nothing big. He just needed to steal a certain truck at a certain day, at a certain time and drive it out to Los Angeles.

Guess where I am going?

This means though, that Redlight knows this plan has hit a snag. We have the truck, but it was empty and... Normal seeming. So he will probably find another truck if he needs one so bad. Here is the fun part for the Legion of Doom. The Pale Men are on the move. Los Angeles division is due for a little... Purification. Hehehehe. Can't risk things getting out of hand.

But that was today's little bit of progress and ALREADY I am feeling an itch. I want to go after RUNNERS not unwitting SOCK PUPPETS. Think I might pull a detour. I know of some crazy runner survivalist guy hanging out in Arizona. Might go play with him for a little while. I have tons of ideas. Hehehehe. I want more blood. I need more blood. I NEED IT. It has been HOURS. HOURS. HOURS. I NEED MORE DEATH. I want to squeeze the last drop of red blood from a man's heart and start RIPPING AND TEARING into warm tender meat. I have to have it. I NEED IT. I need it SO MUCH.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Court

Juuuust Finished with Morpheus. Glad to see the class was on the ball with your answers too. I admit, I am surprised by the fact ANY of you were able to figure out why trying to dodge a falling piano is a bad idea.


Now then. On to Business. We have titled Redlight's little Club "The Court" because, hell, that seems to be what they want to be. The court is made up of Eight Members and One Kind of Sort of Member. Each have been given Titles to use in place of their actual names. They are as follows.

The Crimson King.
Real Name: That's Complicated.
Previous Affiliation: Proxies.
Height: Complicated
Eye Color: Amber
Hair Color: Still Complicated

You know him, you hate him, you wish he would stay dead... It's not me, shut up... REDLIGHT. Once the Biggest and Baddest of the Proxies, now a Psychotic Shadow of his former self, driven mad by... Now that would be telling Morningstar, shame on you... Known to be charismatic, cruel, megalomaniacal and a trashy dresser. That Hoodie of his must smell like the inside of a Chinese sweat shop. Despite all this, he is also very, very, very intelligent. Smarter than Me that is for sure and certainly smarter than YOU. Yes You Reader. Bad news is, he could also BE you reader and you won't even know it. He can assume direct control over anyone in his Network, and he likes to mark them by having them wear Red. Usually not TOO much Red, but there is always something and it is always visible. The Other Me that Spencelight brought back wore a Red Ring to show off what he was. So watch for Red people. It is the color of things worse than death. And more delicious, in the case of bloody, salty meat.

The Black Queen
Real Name: We Don't Know.
Previous Affiliation: We are Trying to Find Out for certain, but we have an idea.
Height: I dunno
Eye Color: Clueless
Hair Color: "Dark"

Based on Old Doc Marsh's Firsthand account, The Black Queen might be the Second in Command. Maybe. Possibly. Morgan definitely answers to her, but that isn't saying much because anyone with a brain would put Morgy-Poo low on the Totem Pole. Otherwise, can't really say much about her. Seems to be something of a cunt.

The Yellow Jester
Real Name: We have a Pretty Good Idea
Previous Affiliation: Also a Pretty Good Idea
Height: Complicated.
Eye Color: No One Knows, if the theory is right.
Hair Color: See Above

We are about 80% positive we know who this guy is. We just don't know WHY he would work with REDLIGHT of all people. If we are right, they are probably in the same playing field power and smarts wise. So it makes one wonder. If he IS who we think he is, and he IS really on Redlight's Team, we are in DEEP SHIT. The Guy is much scarier than I am, and I do NOT want to be anywhere near him.

The Purple Piper
Real Name: Francesco Porreca
Previous Affiliation: Maenads
Height: 5'9"ish
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown

See here for details. And here. AND here. Someone we actually information on. It's a miracle. Creepy weirdo if you ask me. Well. He SOUNDS Creepy. Never actually met him before. Seems to think Redlight is a God. How VERY wrong he is. The Devil is closer. Think Dante's Lucifer. Smelly, Insane, Monstrous, and most importantly, TRAPPED.

The Wiseman
Real Name: Now That Would Be Telling wouldn't it?
Previous Affiliation: Scribes
Height: 5'10"
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Gray (Formerly Brown)

Proxy Bob has a history with this guy. He is VERY dangerous. Formerly known as Scribe Nu. Not the paragon of sanity or anything, but he is VERY clever. Knows his history well, especially the History of Eden and what is in there. He ran off with "Enoch's" Odyssey as we call it. Really, the entire Redlight situation as it stands is his fault. Redlight wouldn't have known shit about Eden if Scribe Nu didn't SHOW HIM what was in that Journal. Me myself? Old Valtiel, The Attendant, was able to SHOW me. Well. Most of it. Some of it was a bit too Mind shattering. Would have probably had me end up like Doc Marsh in his last days. Heh. Bottom line is, when we find this guy we will END HIM for causing this fucking mess.

The Pattern Juggler
Real Name: It's Fucking Rhodes
Previous Affiliation: Probably Not "Previous" if I know him, but it would be Proxies
Height: He is a douchebag.
Eye Color: DOUCHE. BAG.
Hair Color: Douchey and Red.

He is a Douche. Want his history? Here. And Here. He has NEVER worked for ANYONE. So I doubt he is REALLY working for Redlight here. He was identified by Echo as a member though, so we'll have to chat with him sometime soon. Much as I REALLY don't want to, as I would love NOTHING more than to break his DOUCHY neck. Douchebag.

The Gardener The Blue Puppy
Real Name: Morgan Sturn
Previous Affiliation: Timberwolves
Height: 6'4"
Eye Color: Dark Blue
Hair Color: Dirty Blonde

MORGY-POO IT'S YOUR TURN. Honestly, I don't know why Redlight recruited this guy. He is a thug with delusions of being a Holy Knight. And Redlight is his GOD. HA. Can you believe it? Carries a friggen Claymore around and expects to KILL SHIT with it. He is such a fucking idiot. I refuse to believe he is anything other than the Errand Boy of the Court. He was certainly nothing more than a Getaway driver for Doc Marsh. When Echo got away, Morgan was the one who got to play fetch. So, he is less a Gardener than he is a Dog. Hmmm. Hey. He wears a lot of Blue, so I dub him... The Azure Hound. NO. The Cerulean Mutt. NO. WAIT. I HAVE IT. The Blue Puppy. Yes. That fits him SO much better. He even has these big watery Puppy Dog Eyes. That he no doubt uses to confuse his Rape Victims. DID I MENTION HE IS A SERIAL RAPIST. BECAUSE HE IS. And it's VERY icky for MULTIPLE reasons. Can't wait to finally put this dumb dog down.

The Keeper of the City's Keys
Real Name: No Idea. He Might not have one. We just call him Jack.
Previous Affiliation: Himself.
Height: Last I checked it was... 5'11"ish?
Eye Color: Complicated. Again.
Hair Color: Ehhh....

A moderately reliable source told us of this guy's involvement with Redlight's Court. The source was, well, himself. He does not answer to Redlight, just as he doesn't really answer to anyone. The Attendants don't like him, and neither do I. He makes my Azoth feel weird and sick. Probably not human either. Though if he isn't human and he isn't like what Father is and he isn't an Attendant... I have no idea what he is. What Redlight wants with him is NOT a mystery however. It's in the name he gave him, you see. The Keeper of the City's Keys. Jack the Red Right Hand, Jack the Knife, Jack of the Lantern, Spring-Heeled Jack, Jack the Knave, Jack of Fables, Jack of Fear, Jack the Doorman, Jack of Jill... Jack of All. Really.

The Fire Witch
Real Name: No Idea
Previous Affiliation: *shrugs*
Height: Somewhere in the Middle of Giant and Tiny? Maybe?
Eye Color: Probably some White in there somewhere?
Hair Color: No Clue.

Her existence was noted as a freebie from Jack. He didn't tell us more, only that she was important to the overall plan. He offered to tell us more for a Price... But we were unwilling to pay what he was asking. So I am told. I was only there as security. She didn't seem to be present for Doc Marsh's little visit and none of the other members of the Legion of Doom have so much as mentioned her. Jack is not know for straight up lying like this, so we'll assume he is telling the truth. Can't say much else, sadly.

So THERE WE ARE. All known Members of the Court. Top of my Hit List, minus Jack and Rhodes (Sadly). If you see any of these individuals, please please please PLEASE call your nearest Proxy Hive. Or Cultist Camp. The Maenads, Apostles, Scribes, Dolls and Oathbreakers ALL want them dead too. We are offering FABULOUS PRIZES in exchange for information or corpses. Come Oooooon. Any Takers? Anyone curious?