Business as Usual

You know my friends. I don't have many joys in life these days. Work, work, work. Avert Catastrophe. With my Great Power comes Great Responsibility. Etc. It is kind of a rare thing to get to play with Runners anymore. They usually have to be involved in this mess, and really... You know you guys ALWAYS wander into these kinds of messes one way or the other. But today was a free day, and the Team is getting a little bit on edge. No blood in days. So, we got a call from MARCUS and he told us that a group of runners communicating via Skype were meeting up in Illinois. The Team just happened to be in state and MARCUS was kind enough to throw the job to us. Guess he knew we were getting a bit tense. Hehehe. So, we had a plan in place. Proxy BOB and I were going to find a Grand Piano. The Skype Logs suggest that one of the runners, going by the Screen name Morpheus, was a Pianist and that seemed to be his escape from the horror that is reality.

Gleeman and Recluse would kidnap another of the Runners and bring them to this old Factory we have access to. The Other Runners, including Morpheus, would come to try and save their kidnapped friend. See. This little Team had bonded with their tales of narrow escape and survival. A woman named Jessie was the brains of the group and she had even managed to pull the old Electricity trick to make Father react to it. Morpheus was the gentle heart of the group. The token pacifist, you know the one. "Let's Save the Proxies" kinda guy. Then we had Hammer. Morpheus's opposite in the group. Killer of Proxies. Even manged to kill off the Group's main tormentor, a Proxy by the name of L(x)renzo. We also had Ames, the token Psychotic of the group. You know the one. Runner that goes FUCKING CRAZY from time to time. Starts babbling about the Owls not being what they seem and the hills having eyes. His Eyes are Shut, His Arms are Open or whatever the fuck it was. Nice little runner clique all in all. Seemed to be here to meet up now that L(x)renzo got... Hammered. HAHAHA. Oh don't blame me, they used it too. I know because I have the Skype log right here in front of me.

[7/26/2013 12:31:51 AM] Jessie: Guess he got hammered, didn't he guys? ;D

See? Not my Pun. Anyway. So they decided to meet up for what amounts to a Picnic. Hammer thought it was a good screw you to Father. Killing his servant while eating in his back yard. Hehehe. I admire the spunk. So. Samedi drove Gleeman and Recluse by and grabbed the first one they could. Ames it turned out to be. Poor Miss Amy struggled something fierce I hear. Which is why we have an Ex-Luchador doing all of our restraining, just in case. Oh and they were RIGHT behind them too. So. Proxy Bob and I had the Piano just over the entrance and were waiting for the signal. People NEVER look up. NEVER. Especially when they are in a hurry. So the plan was to get Morpheus into where Gleeman and Recluse were and KILL Ames in front of him. The others... They would need to be lured away. In preparation for this, we had a ticking timer projected on the ceiling from where we were holding the girl. We weren't very generous with the time. 2:01 seconds from the moment they enter the factory parking lot.

So. Crouching Tiger was up first. He grabbed Hammer in his legendary Drunken-Bull-Seeing-Red Tackle and knocked him through a thin wall. But you gotta admire the balls of this guy. Despite being rammed through a wall by a six and a half foot, built like a killdozer Asian man, he STILL told the other two to go on and rescue Ames. Now I didn't see the fight between Tiger and Hammer, but Tiger told me that Hammer put up a noble effort, but was no match for the blinding fury of the Rabid-Stork Kicks he unleashed. I hear what finished Hammer was the Furious-Panther Death Grip. Bad way to die if you ask me.

Good old Jack and Darkhorse were up next. Jack popped out from behind a corner with his dagger and proceeded to do, and I quote, "Jack Things" according to Darkhorse. Darkhorse himself used his Katana to separate Morpheus from Jessie. Being slightly clever, I think Jessie figured out what we were doing, because she called for Morpheus to help her instead of going to for Ames. So Darkhorse forced Jessie into running a different way, while Jack chased Morpheus towards the Finish Line. Jessie survived a little while because she actually managed to get her gun out. Piss poor shot, but then again it was dark, and Darkhorse was wearing black. He fired back with his revolver and scored a hit, straight into her guts. I suppose all the training Darkhorse did with shooting in the dark worked. Still doesn't make up for that embarrassment a while back with that OTHER Jessie. No we are never going to live that down, my friend. You wore sunglasses at Night in a Hedge Maze and refused to take them off. Samedi had to escort your ass out. HAHAHA. This does not make up for it. Sorry.

Morpheus was finally chased into the center point. Recluse held Ames, while Gleeman and Jack kept Morpheus watching. Samedi did his Voodoo thing and jammed his dagger down the stupid bitch's throat. I am told Morpheus was begging us to stop the whole time and yelling for Hammer and Jessie. I regret not being able to hear that. So all that was left was the inevitable. Gleeman let Morpheus go and told him to get the fuck out. Morpheus just kind of sat there for a while until Jack started kicking him and he ran and ran. And when he made it out to where we were he just kinda slowed down and turned and stared. And that is when I yelled. "I BET YOU ARE FEELING ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED RIGHT NOW!" before dropping the Piano on him. I really had nothing better. I actually forgot I needed a one liner before I push the Piano until it was already time. Oops. Silly Me.

And Silly Morpheus because he did the absolute WORST thing he could have done in this situation. He tried to dive out of the way. Now let me ask you. Why is that a bad idea kiddies? I'll let that sink in for a while and get back on here later. Hope you put some thought into it. There will be a test later for many of you, I am sure. Toodaloo for now my friends.