... Or... Dick, I am not actually completely sure. WHAT IS WITH THAT ANYWAY? The two most androgynous people I have ever met just so happened to be MARRIED. Weird goddamn world. Anyway. Read here for a Redlight Freak Out. Good for giggles when you remember he is actually kind of powerless at this point. Give Alex some love people, it is anti-social as shit and I will enjoy it being annoyed by your comments.
I made a discovery yesterday. See, I have never tried anything alcoholic before now. And after that BOTCHED... Ugh... I figured it was time to finally see what it was like. So. After entering a friendly bar, Gleeman got something that he promised was alcohol. Considering EVERYONE ELSE GOT DRUNK, I assume it WAS Alcohol. It did exactly NOTHING to me. Meaning. My current transhuman state has made me FRIGGEN IMMUNE TO BEING DRUNK...
Fuck Immortality.
Ugh.
I would start commenting on the state of affairs in the world, but you people... I mean. God. Carter's being enigmatic as shit and I don't care. Kelevra's about to go DIE, and I don't care. Sanna is... Well Sanna is being pretty funny actually. Hehehehehe. Phil is Phil and needs to DIE. Sagey's Gone or Dead or something. Sad. All the HEROES have been crushed, beaten, thrown aside and gone to the great stalking grounds in the sky. All that is left... Is cleanup. YOU FINE READERS. What exactly are you all doing to fix your problems? Really. NAME SOMETHING. Anything. You are all meandering through life, keeping your heads down and working towards vague and undefined goals that will ultimate amount to NOTHING. HAHAHA. But you know what your worst crime is? All of you... Every single one of you... Is a SHITTY conversationalist. I have trouble finding ways to INSULT you all. Aside from Sanna. But really, what is there left to insult aside from growing psychopathy?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This sucks.
We have a... New Short Term Goal however. One of Redlight's Minions has been an enormous PAIN IN THE ASS. Not a Cute pain like Morgan. A Large SHARP Impaling Spike type Pain in the Ass. The Wiseman. Formerly a Scribe that went rogue in pursuit of... Something. We don't know. He is a secretive piece of shit. Likes to cosplay as the Archangel, which confused the hell out of Dr. Marsh a few months back. The Old Fart's been interfering for TOO LONG. So we're gonna hunt his ass down and make sure he STAYS DEAD THIS TIME.
... So. How does everyone feel? Everyone had a Good Day? Favorite Food? Favorite Band? I bet Sanna's is Bon Jovi. Heheheheheh.
Fuck you! I'm not here to entertain you. I mean shit. What is it with you immortals objectifying mortal people?
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll have you know my favourite band is the Kaiser Chiefs. So FUCK YOU.
No. You are here to KILL people. You like killing people don't you? I think we have established that. It is just... A nice side effect of you BLOWING PEOPLE UP is unstoppable giggle fits from me. Seriously, that crap with Maddie earlier... Priceless. Truly. I am GLAD I didn't decide to kill Maddie.
DeleteI am simultaneously proud and disgusted to the bone by your approval.
DeleteYou're not very glad you didn't kill me, are you?
Now that is a tough question.... Hmmm... Can't say I am Glad. But I am not mad. I am just sort of... Apathetic. In the middle.
DeleteThat crap with Maddie is definitely tipping the scales towards glad. Keep it up Kiddo. HAHAHAHA.
Oh for fucks sake what the fuck have I gotten myself into.
DeleteIn Order; Like shit, I've had better, pizza, Crush 40("I am all of me" kicks ass).
ReplyDeleteReally. Sonic the Hedgehog Music?
DeleteYeah... I've been told I have bad taste. Adventure 2 was the first big sound track I got into as a kid so nostalgia is a factor there, but W/E I like their songs either way.
DeleteYou can't get drunk? Thats fucking hilarious.
ReplyDeleteTragic, more like. Who wouldn't want to see Star get shitfaced?
ReplyDeleteYeah, but on the other hand I've been dry for a few weeks and I'm spitting metaphorical feathers. He's got an eternity of that to look forwards to.
DeleteDid I mis-read that? You're calling me a hero? That's far from the truth.
ReplyDeleteThat you, Carter? How're you doing?
DeleteI'm not some psycho hermit if that's what you're implying.
DeleteNo need to be so defensive. You're my best customer, amd if you flip out I'be got a job to be getting on with. So it makes sense for me to ask these thinfs.
DeleteHeh...I'm not dead yet...close, but not yet...
ReplyDeleteDie? Die? Me die? Heheheh that just cracks me up. Dear Skywalker, I'm far from dying, in fact, I don't think I ever will, the trees will carry me on, I found a crack in logic and after I finish my business, I'm going to expose that crack and live on forever. However, I might go on a long hiatus.
ReplyDeleteSo after I "die", you just wait and we will meet again, hopefully you can be patient enough.
There is enough "crack" in your comment to fund a Mafia drug ring for another two months.
DeleteHeya Mourning. I knoooowww howw to kiiiillll yooouuu.Somael's gone in less than two weeeeeks. I'm coming after you in less than three. Prepare yourself. I am SO much powerful than this Linux. The things I know were given to me by Grandpappy. See you soon. Hahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to answer the questions at the bottom. My favorite food is EVE6, my favorite food is chicken parmagena, and I am having SUCH a good day. I forgot how much fun slaughtering proxies can be. Here a prox, there a prox, everywhere a dead prox.
DeleteSamael can't die, Moron. The Attendants make the rules. The Attendants enforce the rules. The Game continues on and on and on and on. The Attendants were there when the Sun was born. They watched as Man emerged into existence. They taught Man fire and warfare. They set the board that their fathers play on. They cannot die. They are as eternal as the Great Game itself.
DeleteHAHAHAHA! The rules only apply to people that follow them. Man owns the earth. Well, the fears do. Rules are fucking jokes when you've seen what I've seen, when you've done what I've done. I've killed you three times. And seen you die three other times. I've killed another realities "Somael" Twice. He's not immortal. Neither are you. THIS Linux can kill you once I tell him the secrets to breaking the rules.
DeleteWoop woop! It's time for another round of Flaws In Linux's Logic!
Delete"Man owns the earth"
Arguably it transcends ownership.
"Well, the fears do."
I don't even know why I'm bothering to disprove what you say when you're doing all the legwork for me.
"Rules are fucking jokes when you've seen what I've seen, when you've done what I've done."
Rules are also fucking jokes if you're Samael and you can (re)define what a Rule and a Joke is.
"I've killed you three times. And seen you die three other times."
Then why is he still commenting?
"I've killed another realities "Somael" Twice. He's not immortal"
He transcends the laws of mortality you idiot.
"Neither are you. THIS Linux can kill you once I tell him the secrets to breaking the rules."
Suuuure, you go out and play now.
Jesus Christ Sanna. Everything can be defeated. Even Somael and Mourning. Transcending the rules is tricky business, but it can be done.
DeleteMourning breathes still since nobody is willing to help me by using the path. It takes several people to break the rules.
Ownership? That wasn't literal love. He was implying that the attendants own (Control, fine.) Everything, and I was implying the opposite.
Idiot. There is ONE Samael. Only One. NO MORE THAN ONE. In All the Multitudes of Dimensions and Timelines that are theoretically possible... There is ONE Samael. I know he isn't dead, because I am not dead. Samael is NOT bound to the rules of reality. He came into EXISTENCE already transcending the rules of reality. Along with all the others.
DeleteSeems to me, Linux... That you are suffering from a MASSIVE case of megalomaniacal delusions of grandeur. You are nothing more than a delusional, petty human. So, go Kindly Piss OFF before I find you and Path over there for dinner.
So, uhh. He was a bit batshit. He's also terrifyingly powerful. Killing Somael? Certainly something he imagined. I did see your dead body though, reportedly dead for six months. Not sure about the mother of snakes thing.
DeleteAnd his instructions make no sense. So uhh. I'm not dumb enough to attack you without knowing how to win.
I've been doing some thinking. Why on EARTH would some great god resurrect some batshit piece of rubbish that can be defeated by a mortal like me? Thinking that ending you is back on the table. Tell me when you think you can fight.
DeleteOh. Oh. Is this a DATE now? We have to set something up? Jesus. Tell you what. I'll kill your stupid ass when you pop over here and find me. Where am I? WHO KNOWS. You don't. And I REALLY don't give enough of a shit about you and your, admittedly somewhat precious, insanity to bother TELLING YOU.
Delete"Tell me when you can fight." Are you twelve? Do you think this is some kind of fucking game? Also remind me. What exactly can you do beyond EVERYTHING ELSE PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO KILL ME WITH? Hmm? AND LETS LOOK AT THIS BIT OF (Team) ROCKET SCIENTIST LEVEL LOGIC. "Why on Earth would something resurrect a magnificent, handsome, and deadly killer such as Morningstar, who in fact only died to begin with due to a freak accident." You didn't even CONSIDER the fact that the thing that keeps resurrecting me has a PLAN and WOULD NOT HAVE RESURRECTED ME IF IT DID NOT HAVE A PLAN. My GOD. Do you have BRAIN DAMAGE? Did you get DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS A CHILD?
Christ. First of all, I can fucking remove parts of reality at will. That includes myself and any weapon you use. Try fighting a goddamn ghost that only exists when it's hitting you.
DeleteSecond, I'm polite. Clearly you're the wrong person to be polite to.
Third. YOU'RE FUCKING DAMAGED GOODS MATE! A GOD COULD DO A FUCKTON BETTER THAN YOU! YOU SO VERY FUCKING CLEARLY HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE YOURSELF!
Alright. So, being polite clearly isn't working, so I'm just gonna find you on my own, pop outta nowhere, and take off your goddamn head. Mount it on a pike and throw your body into a volcano.
1. It is reasonable to assume that if Linux has the power and contacts to shift reality, he has the power and contacts to locate Morningstar.
Delete2. But Linux cannot locate Morningstar.
3. Therefore I doubt he can shift reality.
4. Therefore he is probably being dishonest.
5. Therefore I oughtn't trust him.
6. Therefore I shall have to side with Morningstar.
Since when do I have contacts? And since when is my ability to find Morningstar and my ability to shift related? If you really need proof, you can ask Carter. He's seen me shift.
DeleteYou know, you, Lovett, and Carter are pretty much my only contacts. I need your trust to do my work.
Holy SHIT do you even understand words? THE. ONE. WHO. KEEPS. RES. UR. REC. TING. ME. HAS. A. FUCKING. PLAN. FOR. ME. Lets assume you can do what you say you can do. That kind of threat to MY existence is going to draw some attention from things that can both undo anything you just did, but also make you forget you could even DO IT. Things that can catch you as you try to poof out of existence and haul your ass back for a SPANKING.
DeleteNEXT, how about this. SHIFT OVER TO ME RIGHT NOW. AS SOON AS YOU READ THIS. Except you can't, because you don't know where in the seven hells I actually AM. Which means, unless I tell you where I am, YOU KEEP TO YOUR CORNER, AND I WILL KEEP TO MINE. Unless you enjoy sightseeing so much that you warp into every single building in the entire world, that is. But even still, you will probably miss me because of how frequently we move. Moron.
Shifting and pathing are two very different things. I can't move spatially, only existentially. No. I have to find you the long fucking way. Which I'm working on. Besides fighting you might be kinda fun. And it'll prove that you can be beaten. Kinda worth it. I mean, we're all gonna die. Might as well make sure that life's as fun as possible.
DeleteWeren't you looking for a fight a little bit ago? What do I have to do to be worth a fight to you? Kill more people than Sanna and Carter? Go head to head with another fear and rip a black forest sized hole in reality? Spend a week tripping balls in some canyon? Cuz all of those would probably take less time then tracking you down.
None of those things, you idiot. As a matter of fact, those things render you rather boring to me. I was looking for some interesting conflict, but YOU... Boring. Utterly boring. Just stay out of my sight.
DeleteI'm wounded. Hurt, even. I guess that means I have to follow your trail. Or wait until you do something big. Hmm. Decisions decisions.
DeletePlease, do continue. This is quite fun to read.
DeleteThere was a string of heroes a while back but they're all black horses. All content to kill everything in their way to make the people they had already killed's deaths mean something. I couldn't help but laugh. I raise proxies along that same string of logic.
ReplyDeleteIs that just human nature, or did that speak to how fucked they were?
We really need a few more Knights in Shining Armor running around here.
DeleteYou kidding me? 'Knights in Shining Armor' always die from a stupid reason and never save the day. They might postpone the inevitable, but not for long.
DeletePerfect people die. You need monsters to kill monsters.
DeleteBecause we all know that knights were so fucking saintly, I mean that's just like science n shit. And we all know that the Chivalric code was definitely applied to civilians. Yep. It didn't just stop at knights or anything. The Teutonic Knights, renowned for setting the standards of chivalry. And nothing says "chivalry" quite like raping, pillaging and burning with bonus racism and misogyny!
DeleteWe need more Knights like we need a hole in the merry motherfucking head.
I'll take violent rapists, racists, and mayo over you whiny, self-serving, self-righteous, hopeless, cunts any day of any week of any year.
DeleteDying for a stupid reason, is better than living for a stupid reason. At least they try.
Sending monsters to fight monsters is like sending rats to right rats. They just sort of chill.
OK I know you really hate me but that was more targeted at Morningstar.
Delete"Dying for a stupid reason, is better than living for a stupid reason"
DeleteOne could debate that. Ever hear about the guy who died because he thought it would be fun to be screwed by horse?
Well, I dunno Rags. Story time. When I was little we used to play a game called Chicken. You had to run across train tracks just before the train went past. One day when I was eight I tripped and got my school skirt caught in the track. Got away just in time by stepping out the skirt and I had to run home in my knickers.
DeleteMy stepdad paid for my uniform, so I had to go up to him and tell him what had happened, he was watching the custard and drinking Stella, and I didn't think he'd heard me, so I reached out to try and get his attention and wham! he just slammed his fist down and broke my hand.
It sounds stupid now, that day was so utterly horrible that I never played Chicken again.
Now that would have been a stupid way to die, but it is preferable to me living now and doing more stupid and worthless things that I do.
We may not be knights. But at least we try to be good people. Most of were, at one point, but then the realities of this life settled in.
DeleteOh Please. I didn't mean LITERAL KNIGHTS. I meant people who fulfilled the stereotype. You know... Like Good Old Konaa. I love that Guy.
DeleteSee, truth is, you don't try to be Good People. You are all Evil. You prove this by continually taking easy ways out, instead of the right ways. You kill people instead of trying to save them, or change them. You can claim that be naive, yeah, but it is ultimately the right thing to do regardless. None of you do it. Few of you even bother. Heheheheh. Yet you keep claiming to be "Good People" HA. You are cowards, you are weak of heart and moral fiber. You are just scum hiding behind "I did what I had to do." Don't try to deny it.
As Rob Swire once sang, "We will surrender now, or be outdone within the open."
DeleteAnd the latter option is more fun than the former. It is more fun to raid proxy bases. Not more moral. More FUN. Would you have us roll over and die? That's boring. Didn't you ever want to chase the theoretically impossible in the hope that you might just catch it? There's a certain lost, elusive beauty about it.
Good to see the theoretically impossible chase has degraded into selling out and surviving as opposed to the idealized 'good fight' that has actually proved itself to be an impossibility so far.
DeleteGood trends. Clearly.
"Sell out" is a strange accusation to get from a proxy.
DeleteI really don't know where I stand on the whole White Knight thing. I feel like I tried to be one at some point...I don't know. I don't think I'm good. I don't feel like I'm evil...Is there such a thing as a Grey Knight?
DeleteIf there is, that's where I'd end up at.
Delete"Remember, I pray thee, who ever perished, being innocent?
Deleteor where were the righteous cut off?
Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity,
and sow wickedness, reap the same."
Job 4:7-8
It takes one to know one.
Delete