Sunday, August 4, 2013

Bored. So Frigging Bored. Seriously BORED.

Ah... Sorry for taking a day off from you lovely people. But I just had to have some... Me Time. Well. Me. Proxy Bob, and a Children's Hospital. That runner's kid was there so we decided to... Well... HAHAHA. Ah... Good Times. Proxy Bob is really growing up you know? He has become the Kato to my Green Hornet. Who would have thought it?

Anyway. On our way to LA. Have to travel slow... My... Pale, very creepy buddies aren't the fastest travelers. Not terribly chatty either. Well. With me. And Proxy Bob. But they seem to LOVE chattering amongst themselves. Sounds like a symphony of mandibles clicking together back there. Except they don't move their mouths or... Anything when making those noises. And why are they all BALD? I understand the identical, creepy, grandpa fedoras and grandma gowns and... The Albinism. But why Bald? Bald people are... Scary. I don't like them.

But yeah, on our way to purify LA. I got time to kill and mobile Wi-Fi. So. I decided to look around at what everyone is up to. You guys are boring. Also I keep seeing people throw around this word. "Seeker." I think Sanna threw the word at me in the comments a while back, as if I knew what the fuck a Seeker was. I know it was... A thing in The Dark is Rising Books. I think. It's been about 12 years since I read that book. But... I guess it is a Proxy thing? It seems to be talked about by mostly EuroProxies. I think. So... Wanna fill me in? ProxyCorp Euro doesn't really tell me stuff anymore. Since other me killed off some of their Highers. Hehehehe. HAHAHA. Go Me.

Also saw some stupidity about The Rake being dead. Ha. HAHAHAHAHA. Ha. Ha. No.

All my other favorites have been REAL quiet or real uneventful. Come on guys. It is a LONG drive and I am BORED. So BORED. Might have to get Driver Pale Man to start speeding so we can catch a highway patrol or two. Something to snack on for the ride. Also need to whip up some more alkahest. Proxy Bob is getting... Hehehehe. Alchemy is at the heart of all this, you know? Double, double, toil and trouble. HAHAHAHAHA. And you know what the best part is? Alkahest. I just slipped this little sentence in for the Legion of Doom's pleasure. Cause it's going to drive them NUTS figuring out if I am serious or not! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Come on guys. He is RIGHT HERE. Come and get him. Come on. Come on. COME ON.

And if they do come on? They won't find him, cause I am a BIG FAT LIAR. But I am also clever. Alkahest is hard to whip up, but SO WORTH IT to draw you fuckers out. So you guys come rushing me and I take at least one of you down with me and you guys leave with NOTHING. Hehehehe. This is how the game works friends. You guys HAD to know I was going to do this. So am I lying, or is this a trap? Hehehehehehe.

Also guys. COMMENT. Even you Morgan. I miss your rapier wit. How easily confused you are with big words and your FREQUENT grammar errors. Come on buddy! How about any of you other clowns? Piper dude? Old Man? Come on Old Man! YOU have to at least have SOMETHING to say. Queenie? Anyone? No? Fine. As long as it isn't Rhodes. He is a douche.

78 comments:

  1. Wrong. Seekers are a very very California thing. I guess they're like your version of surfers or something, hahaha. Honestly, I don't know the difference between a Seeker and a Revenant, nor do I care, they're both going down if I see them.

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    1. Oh. That explains it. Crazy People. Lovely.

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    2. Wait...waitwaitwait...

      You're going after Seekers?

      Yep, I'm in for a fun month...

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    3. Also...Sanna?

      May I remind you that there are more than...20 Seekers, I believe it was.

      As of now, there aren't that many in Cali.

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    4. Yeah, Strider came to live with me in Texas.
      AND WAIT FUCK
      You're coming after us? If you don't mind, I'll go hide in my corner now because you are one of the few people I am legit scared of.

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    5. I'm not going after Seekers. I just have a... fifteen metre radius rule. They can't come within it, or I will assume they are a threat.

      Unless you meant Morningstar. In which case... good luck one and all.

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    6. Aww, but I'm scared shitless of Morningstar. :(

      Maybe it's wise to be scared of him. Though Spyre does have Strider. And I don't have any defence. So I could debate this for PISS AGES.

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    7. As far as I'm concerned, you have three fucking Military trained dudes, who take care of you and shit.

      Not to mention, you got me, your friend! I feel wounded now.

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    8. Hey, cannibals are way up there on my stay the fuck away from me list.

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    9. I don't expect you guys to defend me from Morningstar. No, if Morningstar comes after me, you all need to fucking RUN.

      Then again... if David Banks is in on the protection thing, and you and your team, and the sirs, and myself, and we all find a way to co-operate... then sure, Morningstar would be royally fucked.

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    10. @Spyre: What is so scary about Cannibals? That's one thing I don't understand (No Offense Skywalker) I mean come on, here you have a dude who simply eats he's fellow men, I don't see what's so scary about that.

      @Minxie: Run? But that would be no fun, and I don't think we would be able to co-exist with Incognito, especially if Banks would be there along for the ride, I think it would be a four-way. And my group wouldn't get into your protection, they have no interest in protecting you, only me, you doubt me? Now I'm even more wounded,

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    11. I didn't know you'd protect me, I felt it would be rude to just expect that. The same goes for the sirs.

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    12. I don't think you have a say in the matter.

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    13. What do you mean? I don't want people risking their asses just to save me.

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    14. Well Incognito will do it anyways, since you know "Protect the innocent" and shit.

      Banks, has some sort of interest to you, which I have no idea what it is.

      And me? Why, we're friends and friends help each other in need, at least, that's what I understand from this "How to be friends for Dummies." book.

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    15. Because they EAT you. Honestly, I don't want anyone messing with my body. I particularly don't want my body in someone's mouth. It's gross. Seriously gross. 'sides, I don't want to mess with someone who has issues with dying.

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    16. Well, I ain't gonna let Incognito do that, if when he looks at me he simply sees "An Innocent", I'm not going to let him die for that since there are plenty of Innocents to protect.

      Or Banks. He has to look after Emily.

      Can you lend me that book please?

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    17. @Spyre: I can take your body, for when you die I mean, I'll make sure it doesn't get eaten by anyone.

      @Minxie: No! I paid good mo- agh who am I kidding? I stole it, but still, no.

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    18. :( I'll lend you Dracula. My ILLUSTRATED VERSION. It is totally awesome. Pleeease.

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    19. What makes you think I want your Dracula book, when I have the whole Dracula vs Jack The Ripper series lying around on my floor?

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    20. Oh my god. You have so many books you need to lend me.

      Ugh.

      As a buddy, I'll defend you too, if you need it! Unless it's against Incognito. 'Cause he's umm, I dunno, a sort of guardian, but one that teaches you life stuff as well, and is also kind of a (very stoic) friend. I don't know what to call it but, as with friendship, it's IMPORTANT SHIT to me as well.

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    21. NO NO NO GOD NO NUH-UH YOU ARE STAYING THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BODY NOPE NONONONONO
      I AM GETTING FUCKING CREMATED AND BURIED UNDER A TREE YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAVE IT

      NO

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    22. Spyre, you're making me nostalgic...

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    23. *shivers* gahhh I don't want to even imagine that could ever be a possibility

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    24. I made friends with him. Now he's going to leave my dead body alone!

      ...only for it to be picked up by Fracture. I mean, at least Kelevra is my friend. With Fracture it's like... dude, we did NOT know each other!

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    25. Now I feel insulted Spyre, maybe me and Skywalker will be able to share your body, the top half goes to me, the bottom half goes to him.

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    26. Won't the body be filled with azoth? So Morningstar might not want to eat it. You'll only have to worry about the necrophiliac.

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    27. Skywalker is so picky, well execuuuuuuuuse me princess!

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    28. Is he picky, or are you just... what's the word...?

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    29. Or the most awesome epic mother fucker to ever walk this earth?

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    30. But of course you are.

      Now I want an epic title.

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    31. Quoth the raven, "Ima fuck you up."

      *JP

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    32. Woah. Guys. Seriously. When did I say ANYTHING about going after Seekers. I just didn't know what the fuck Seekers are, and now that I am being told you are just Revenants 2.0... I think I'll just sit back and watch you guys fall apart like good old Reach.

      Also. Sanna. I EAT AZOTH TOO. It's tangy with a comforting, familiar flavor. Having Azoth won't save anyone.

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    33. Revenants 2.0... couldn't've put it better myself.

      Whaaa...? Are you Jamie Oliver in proxy form? I KNEW IT!

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    34. Just when I was fucking starting to condone your existence, Kelevra. God. *shivers*

      And I wouldn't say we're revenents ^^; not exactly like I'm the best to ask. Please keep in mind that the freaky mind powers on the parts of Rose and I come from another source. The only thing special about being a Seeker, as far as I've noticed, is that Father treats my special and I can't serve anything else because of it. Namely Darkness, which is why I got Seekerified.

      And I swear, I should not be up this early, it's unnatural.

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    35. @Skywalker: Grand, so what do you say, we share Spyre's body? It's always nice to have a stock of those lying around, just in case.

      @Spyre: Condone my existence? Now I want your body even more, for some reason, so we agreed then, when you die, I pick it up.

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    36. Are you gonna do the Rammstein thing and marry the dead body?

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    37. Oh, and, to me it makes perfect sense to be afraid of Morningstar.

      He came back from the dead. He is a zombie.

      Zombies make me SHIT BRICKS. They make me shit ENTIRE HOUSES. ENTIRE SUBURBAN DEVELOPMENTS.

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    38. @Spyre: Right O. Freaky mind powers. That's a new one. Have fun with that.

      @Kelevra: Hmmm... Fine. I want the top half, you can have the bottom.

      @Sanna: You should probably get that looked at. Seems unhealthy to be shitting like that. Also, I am NOT a Zombie... Well. I guess I do eat brains, and this IS what is left of my body... Just converted to Azoth and... I guess I WAS dead... BUT I ALSO DRINK BLOOD. So Vampire Zombie? And once I get a BIT more... Advanced... Well. I'll be so MUCH more.

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    39. Why don't you split it vertically? That's a good compromise. Better yet, DON'T DO IT AT ALL!!! Because then I will SHIT FURY AS WELL!!!

      And no, I'm not going to show anyone my ass.

      Delete
    40. Yeah, you two are not getting my body. No way in hell.

      If I die, I'm going to do it in some way that my body isn't salvagable now, just because of you two. I hope you're happy.

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    41. @Spyre: What makes you think you will be given that choice. Quite frankly, now I'm tempted to prove you wrong.

      @Skywalker: Fine, but I get the head!

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    42. Okay, why the fuck do you want my he-- actually no, I don't want to know.

      And I will throw myself into a fucking volcano if I have to.

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    43. Deal. His Organs are MINE though. The Heart is the best part.

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    44. Oh for fuck's sake, I AM FUCKING FEMALE HOW IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS DO I ACT LIKE A BOY?

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    45. Shut up Boy. The Grown ups are talking.

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    46. ...............I am a girl. I am very obviously a girl. I have a lot of proof that I'm a girl. The fact that you are calling me a boy is seriously more offensive than the fact that you want to eat me, and Kelevra wants to rape my corpse.

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    47. Alright then, you can keep the organs, all I needed is the bottom half and the head, bottom half doesn't really have that many holes, while the head has about 7 of them.

      Also, you're a girl!? Should make it ten times easier for me then!

      Delete
    48. .................................................oh god.

      Activate sequence: JUMPING INTO A GODDAMN VOLCANO

      Delete
  2. WHAT A RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUSH!

    Points to you if you get the reference.

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    1. *WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHAT A RRRRRRRRRRRRRUSH!

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    2. You, fucking...Just get out Bobby, just go.

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    3. I think she's well versed on fighting things in her dreams.

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    4. Combine the two references and you can wrestle Freddy Krueger. Ding ding!

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    5. NO! You're giving it away! Shhhhhhhhh

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    6. ...Wrestling? But that's boring.

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    7. Yay, I got it right! Gimme my points! Gimme gimme gimme!

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    8. WHATTT?? YOU DID NOT JUST SAY WRESTLING IS BORING!!!!!!!!!!

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    9. No points for giving away answers!

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    10. Seriously. Wrestling is BORING. It's just a bunch of people fighting each other.

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    11. So is Call Of Duty, but it's fun game. :P

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    12. No, boxing is people fighting each other, kick boxing is people fighting each other.

      Wrestling is a rehearsed (Not Fake) showcase, of many ways you can take someone's body through hell.

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  3. The child is bored. Someone call his mother, before he throws a tantrum. Here's an idea, Morningstar: go bother my past self. -- Jack

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    1. Not a good idea. He might try to kill your past self, thus creating a time paradox.

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    2. @Jack: That is my comparison! Fucking copyright! I'm gonna sue your ass!

      @Bob: Nah Skywalker is legitimately scared of the guy, or whatever.

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    3. Sue him, and then all his past selves, and his future selves. And profit.

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    4. Fuck profit, all I want is to have some fun, I have different kind of "lawyers".

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    5. @Kel: Sorry, didn't realize it.Forgive me, and let bygones be bygones. I'm only here to annoy Morningstar.

      @Rose: Not wanting to say anything that could potentially cause a paradox, but let's just say that someone tried. And failed. -- Jack

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    6. @Jack: Hey you're here to annoy Skywalker? Hell yeah we're gonna let bygones be bygones, you're alright in my book.

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    7. I like watching him react. He has to worry about me on two fronts: here and now on the blogs, and with my past self. It's so much fun. -- Jack

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    8. Now I would laugh and shiz, if I could understand this time traveling thing you guys are doing, but whatever, all I gotta know is that you annoy him.

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    9. Shouldn't that be 'Hit the road, Jack'?

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