Saturday, August 10, 2013

Fettered Blade

I have developed some major self loathing issues because of today. Such a shame. All those years of Therapy down the drain.

MARCUS found Iblis. Wasn't terribly difficult. He doesn't look like me, but he ACTS just like me. Well. Kind of. Based on the footage, I think he is a bit less... Controlled. Massacred an entire bus full of people with a Butterfly knife. MY Butterfly knife. My Original Knife. It doesn't belong in the hands of Little Red Bus-Crashing Hood. It is Mine.

So I tracked him down to a Cafe. Immediately something about this seemed off. People were coming and going without a care in the world. Not really even reacting to the masked, red cloaked man with a long sword on his hip. So I asked "Self. What am I doing holed up in a Cafe. With norms running in and out?" so my Self answered. "Self. How do we know they are norms?" This was a good point. So I did a little snooping. Seems Red is rather fashionable among the patrons. Trap. Trap. Trap.

So I sat myself down and... Decided to think up a plan. Relax. Barbecue up that infant I took from the hospital the other day... Could have used better sauce. Something a little less sweet. Infant flesh is already the angel food cake of human meat. Started to read up on the blog activities. Saw this little Gem. Nice to see the EuroProxies showing some spine in the face of a little friendly teasing. Makes me wonder how you actually managed to kill any of the runners who threaten you daily. Or is that not done across the pond? Oh Well. Got a good chuckle out of me. Honestly buddy, you need to get a sense of humor. Your panicked, knee jerk reaction was hilarious to be sure. Not exactly the smartest move though, all things considered. I mean. I am WAY too busy for a European Tour Vacation and as for Kelly... Well... I think he might have problems of his own on the way.

Side Note. Think I found Lily's Daughter. Heheheheheh.

I also saw that my last Dance Partner, Miss Annie, was up and at it again. She is probably eating through a straw right now though. Certainly not ready for an encore. I AM somewhat curious what they are doing with my leftovers. That one guy who was tied to a Pipe in their shack. I hope they keep him around. Next time I decide to drop by, I would appreciate a familiar meal. They are rather rare nowadays you know.

Ah... But now we get to the part of my day that was not so fun. Our assault on that Cafe. I wanted to hold the Pale Men back, to not spook Iblis too much. Let him think it was a one on one thing. Unfortunately... I may have underestimated my own swordsmanship, especially if that was what he was focusing on for the past year and a half. Redlight just HAD to pick the ONE place where they could forge the damn things to be his central nexus. The Good news is that they don't work on anything bigger than me. The bad news is, they HURT LIKE A BITCH.

Of course. It takes more than a little physical trauma to put me down. Some advice to myself.... Don't rely on your knowledge of human physiology to tell you where to stab. I only have a heart when I want to have a heart beat. The rest of the time it is all Liquid Goodness. Starving liquid Goodness. How's the hand by the way Iblis? Bet you didn't think I could do that. Hell. Even I didn't think I could do that. But what have we learned today? Say it with me now. "Do Not attempt to Punch the walking puddle man." Is that shark comparison making more sense? I would hope so.

You see, ladies and gentlemen. I entered the cafe late at Night. I... Was perhaps a TINY bit overconfident. Got a sword shoved through where my heart would be. The Legion of Doom has a weapon. These swords. Probably need to find out if they forged them or found them, because both are possible... The wound is still there. A Freaking hole in my chest that WON'T GO AWAY. Unfortunately for Chuckles over there, his next move was to try punching me in the face. So I took off his arm. But even THAT didn't heal the DAMNED HOLE. Good news is. Iblis is only human. I ate my own arm the other day, on a whim. I eat his arm, he goes into shock. That didn't make him happy. All that screaming. So it was my turn to punch him in the fact. Shatter that pretty little mask into pieces. Behind it was a face, clearly not mine. Bleached blonde hair, green eyes.

Once again. Overconfident. Got my head taken off by something behind me and I blacked out. Until, you know. About an hour ago. The Azoth turned on the autopilot and reattached everything. Based on the Other large holes in me, and some scratches that keep oozing Azoth... It also drove off whatever decapitated me. Didn't see Iblis's corpse anywhere, so I assume he escaped. Heheheheh. Just means I will eat him later.

No sign of the Doomsday Syringes in that cafe though. I assume Iblis and company were looking for it just like we are. With possibly less luck. Good. Redlight might be able to replicate the contents of the syringe if he gets them. You all know how he is about taking the world down with him. HeheheheHAHAHA. Going to take a walk. See if a little exercise can't fix these wounds. Maybe grab a bite while I am out too. We'll see.


  1. I did warn you about overconfidence...

    On an unrelated note, three redlight bases known in France. One burned down, one blown up, one at large. Ran out of fuel, sorry. Figured this would be as good a place as any to put that one up.

    And dude, you need to practice your friendly ribbing. Make it seem a wee bit less like death threats.

  2. I'm still a bit shocked that you ate your arm. Other than that, I need one of those swords. Wold be useful. -- Jack

  3. I envy that someone else got to decapitate you.

    Aah, someday...

  4. You better not touch her, you freak.

  5. INFANT? That is a line that should NEVER be crossed! NEVER!

    How could you?!