Friday, August 30, 2013

Party Pooper

So SAD. Doc, John, Jonathan, Johnny Boy, WHY WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY? I took the gag out and the best you can give me is a couple SUICIDE attempts? COME ON MAN. You disappoint Me. I HATE BEING FUCKING DISAPPOINTED. Maybe I should eat a few fingers. Maybe a hand. Teach you to waste an opportunity from me. AND YOU DISAPPOINTED OUR AUDIENCE. Look at them all. They are so sad they could not read your pathetic cries for help. And. Seriously man, we BOTH know you want help. There is still hope. You can still escape from all this. Right? RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

Ah... My Friends. It has only been a couple days, but it has felt like an ETERNITY away from you all. HOW IS EVERYONE? Still serving as an Agent of Chaos Kelly? Still DELICIOUS Sanna? Still being useless Phil? How about you Gabriella, or whatever name the voices in your head gave you this week. Hehehehe. Spyre? Doing Manly things? Great. Keep it up. Jack. Go fuck yourself. Professor Med? You still doing suicidally stupid things? KONAA, BUDDY I MISS YOU, WE NEVER TALK ANYMORE. Keep being utterly worthless at your job. "Azrael" Go fuck yourself. "TILDE" I have a VERY strong idea about who you are. HA. Just WAIT until I track down your little BITCH Kid friend, I am going to make her SUFFER for what... Hehehehehe. Well. We musn't spoil things for the few uninformed people left. Good news though. You are low on my list of priorities. Tick Tock though. My mind is like a HURRICANE with all sorts of ideas and priorities flying around. Never know what ends up on top.... Hunger might tip the scales though, so... Keep that in mind.

I am ecstatic people. Things are Great. Getting a bit hungrier than normal more often now... But the food has been great. Learning how to cook more, in my free time. I am not normally one for alcohol, but I heard about this delightful recipe for "Offal Ale." Something about the recipe spoke to me. Probably the part that involves organs. Mmmmm. Going to make sure my organ stock is fairly fresh, so... SHOPPING TRIP IN THE NEAR FUTURE. Volunteers?

But I'll bet everyone here is wondering WHY I am really so happy. Well, my friends, we Finally Did it. This blog has a fully functional Perception Filter. The Redlit Network can't see SHIT. In fact, if they try, what they will see instead are these posts. Great aren't they? I love it. Cynthia was such a Good Kid, really fun. And that second post? That is REDLIGHT begging Miss Annie to keep big bad Morningstar away. Granted... He wasn't in his right mind when he said that. But it changes nothing.

Ah... But this should give us a degree of safety. Now the next step is to figure out how to be less... Reactionary. More proactive. Because we currently can't find The Legion of Doom when they decide to manifest. It's only AFTER the fact. And I HATE SITTING HERE WITH MY THUMB UP MY ASS. Really sucks.

Things might go FASTER if he some of the other Cults would PITCH IN every once in a while. Oathbreakers aren't playing ball, the Dolls are only giving vocal support, Maenads are too disorganized on their own, Timberwolves are too busy holding on to PETTY GRUDGES, Nests don't seem to give a flying fuck. Which, come to think of it, is the only fuck they can possibly give. The Camper, Hushed Monks and Crimson Knights are completely out of the question, especially due to the latter two being part of the problem. I seriously thought I was fucking DONE with politics once I became a Vessel. I JUST WANT TO EAT THEM AND BE DONE WITH IT.

You know I have recently acquired an appreciation for human lungs. Really. Something about their texture is completely sublime. What makes me appreciate them more is the rarity of fairly clean lungs. Cigarettes fucking ruin them. It's terrible and disgusting. I could always go for the lungs of children but... They are a bit small, you know? It is Fresh, Clean, fully developed lungs that are worth cooking.

Hmmm. Teenager lungs might not be bad either. Light weight snack. Hey Sanna, do you smoke? Oh. Incidentally. Any liver disorders that you know of? God I love liver. 

35 comments:

  1. You don't KNOW if I'm delicious, so it's safest to assume I'm not.

    I've never smoked or drank alcohol in my life, actually. Or driven a car off a cliff, never had sex, never had a boyfriend, never got into fights at school, never taken drugs.

    You might say I am a lot more demure than all the swearing suggests. That doesn't mean I'm not going to fight back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WONDERFUL. Your Lungs are probably in Good Condition then. That's Great. I mean it. And as courtesy to you, I will ship some to Cogsy once things are over with. I need a second opinion on my culinary skills, you see.

      Delete
    2. :( What? Incognito won't eat my lungs. Why would you ship them to him? That will just inconvenience him, I don't think he would give a crap, so fuck you. What are you trying to achieve?

      And... culinary skills? I don't want my dead body to be prepped.

      It's better than having my dead body fucked, though, so I guess I'll go ahead and thank you for that.

      Delete
    3. I don't care if he eats them. I want to see what he would do, or say, or think.

      I am not going to do that to your WHOLE body. Just the good parts. The Organs mainly. Any leftovers will just be swallowed. Waste not, want not. Right?

      Delete
    4. Well, he probably won't do or say anything. If he thinks anything? Yeah, I don't think it will be getting to you.

      Jeez, you say you'll kill me and then you say you might just torment me and now you're saying you're killing me. Erratic. Fascinating. I better hope you're on the sweet end of your mood swings if I ever meet you.

      Delete
    5. I DO NOT HAVE MOOD SWINGS. Not anymore. They took out my instabilities. I am not insane anymore. I am stable.

      Delete
    6. Fair enough.

      And I think I told you to leave Incognito out of this. That means you don't mention him, you don't send him my lungs, and if you kill me, you don't do a detailed blog post and send it to him.

      Delete
  2. Am I still the agent of chaos? Well hell yeah.

    So wait, that means they can't censor our comments, when we tell you that you're a mindless robot, being controlled by someone from the higher bidder, or whatever?

    Cause previously it seemed like they did delete those sort of comments, well, not delete, more like make them invisible for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Higher bidder?

      Just when I thought eBay couldn't get any less ethical.

      Delete
    2. What was the highest bid? Was it less than a pound?

      Delete
  3. Yeah, I'm not really that useless, given that there ain't no redlit in my stomping grounds no more.
    And hey, I know something you don't, so that's grand. The hint of the day is: Perception filter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pfffft. Perception Filter.

    If only you knew, Morning.

    *JP

    ReplyDelete
  5. I AM A FEMALE
    I HAVE BREASTS
    STRIDER LIKES THEM
    THAT'S KINDA PERSONAL BUT IT PROVES A POINT
    I GAVE BIRTH
    STOP IT
    SERIOUSLY
    JUST
    STOP
    IT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Breasts? Spiders like them? Are....are you possibly hinting that...

      You're a talking cow?

      Holy shit, the Indians were correct!

      Delete
    2. ................I will kill you, Kelevra.

      Delete
    3. It's OK Spyre, he's wrong - there are no talking cows in Hinduism. Their atmans are just high on the ladder of life, just below humans actually.

      Troll-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol. :P

      Delete
  6. In response to your message for me, I'll be sure to bring a camera the next time you flip out and lose your shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll sew it into your eye sockets.

      Delete
    2. My eye-sockets? Um, yeah that'll work out well. Especially since it is almost time for a new host. (in your words 'meatsuit.')

      Delete
    3. Just going to leave your current host to burn out, eh? How long have you had him? A Decade? Twenty? A Century? Hahahaha. I love what happens when Meatsuits are abandoned. Good to know you haven't gone completely White Hat.

      Delete
    4. He won't be abandoned, just returned to his proper time and place. With his family.

      Delete
    5. So he can burn out in front of their eyes? Nice.

      Delete
    6. Not particularly. He will have just enough time to finish living a natural life. Barely, unless he does something stupid that speeds it up.

      Delete
  7. Every cult is out chasing their own interests... if you could call half of those cults. A lot of those are little more than vessels themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yo, Morningstar. Count the number of comments compared to the number shown at the top.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MY NAME IS ROSE! GET IT RIGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!

    As for the voices in my head, none of them belong to me. Gotta tell ya, it's really fucking annoying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...I give up. You people are too stupid to get my name right.

      Delete
    2. I know you are but what am I.

      Delete
    3. Hey! Stop pissing of Bobby! He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment!

      Delete
    4. .........

      If you'll excuse me, I think I shall go kick a cat.

      Delete