Thursday, August 8, 2013

I am Very Clever

And it seems I didn't fall for my own ruse. Fucker. For those not paying attention, I appear to have encountered one of Redlight's MISTAKES. The successful Me that Redlight made a while back ran into him before, as did Good Old Screamer. Seems like he, and two other ABORTIONS, got stuck in Heel Face Turn mode. Like idiots.

Of course NOW, they are back to being Heels. I suspect it is due to Redlight's influence. He makes it seem like THEY think it is a Good idea for him to achieve Godhood. Weak Minded Idiots. What is worse is someone in the comments reminded him AND Me of a little something we lost track of. Death of the Universe in Liquid Form. Nasty stuff. Granted. Not enough of it left to do serious irreparable damage to the fabric of reality. Still. Not something you want floating around out there.

To the ever gullible and idiotic Sanna, I tell you this. It would take me at least TWO Days to find you and kill you. I don't HAVE two days. I have one. This should be OBVIOUS given the subject matter. I was merely hoping to send OTHER me on a LONG Plane Flight over to kill you while I go find The Doomsday Syringes.

Given that I believe you are still breathing, he didn't take the bait. Fucking wonderful.

To make matters worse, I have NO idea where the Syringes are. Sagey BLEW THEM UP or something, but he missed TWO. But we don't have two anymore. Must have gotten lost in the confusion of recent events. So. Finding them again, is going to be a Bitch. Fortunately, that is why I have Bitches. The MK I Pale Men are on the move in force. The Mask Brigade was too busy killing Runners to avert utter catastrophe. So I doubt we are getting any support from Author or Fracture's People.

So. My People, Proxy Bob, The Pale Men and little old me have to scour an entire country to find the damn things. You know, since the Attendants are too "important" for grunt work like this. I have a few hunches as to where they could be, but if I have these hunches, you can bet Other I does too. Since he knows that I know, it will be trap. Unless we get there first, in which case he knows it is a trap. Unless something spectacularly stupid happens. Expect the unexpected.

So. If anyone sees a pair of little syringes, filled with a white liquid that, if injected causes someone's body to be consumed by a Large Tree with Black Leaves. Do tell me. For your own Good. Because I do work for your own Good. Promise. I am here to help. Always. You can trust me. Honestly.


  1. Very clever. No really, I'm impressed.

    Gullible and idiotic? Yup, you've DEFINITELY told me something I DIDN'T know before. But really, where the fuck have you been? If I had a quid for every time I had been called naïve, I wouldn't have any money 'cause I'd have been naïve enough to think people were gonna give me money just 'cause I got them to call me naïve.

    I knew you would never kill me! :) Ish. OK, but seriously. I was bricking it.

    You are a dick-arms.

    1. Inb4 doubting said death threats.

    2. New sitcom idea: Everybody Loves Morningstar. Directed by Nicolas Cage, starring Nicolas Cage, casting by Nicolas Cage.

      Synopsis: A big shot proxy, living his life. Dealing with Relight, psychos, weirdos, himself, and threatening death to teenage girls, how will Morningstar survive?...well...immortality may play a part but WHATEVER! But you have to admit,

      Everybody loves Morningstar.


    3. Scene 1:

      (enters, live studio audience cheers. Puts on fedora. Live studio audience cheers even louder)


      I would watch that.

    4. With some of the things that can be found on the television, that would be pure gold. -- Jack

    5. Wonder what the epic final battle would look like...

    6. A game of duck duck goose.


    7. An epic battle between Redlight, Morningstar, and Iblis.

      Who are the ducks, and who is the goose?